CONTENTS
I. Forward by Fredric Rice, Chairman, Skeptic Tank
HOW TO FIGHT MOTORCYCLES
I. Forward by Fredric Rice, Chairman, Skeptic Tank
31/August/2003
What follows is profoundly stupid and describes potentially fatal
activities that would indiscriminately target children, adults,
and other innocent people as well as their intended target: dirt
bike riders. It's not the dumbest thing I've seen written, nor is
it the most inherently criminal written series of ideologies I've
seen posted to the Internet but it ranks right up there with the
best -- or, more accurately, the worst -- of them.
Why would The Skeptic Tank want to reproduce this text? Why did I
reformat and correct what appears to be a scanned-in text document
and then make it available on the Internet? In priority of
motivation, here's why:
To address the anti-Earth First! motivation, there is not a single
shred of verifiable evidence which would remotely suggest that what
is reproduced here was ever written by anyone within the Earth First!
organization, nor that it was written by the so-called Unambomer,
nor that the Unabomber was a member of Earth First! The first rule
of an "eco-warrior" -- Rule #1 -- is never to physically
harm anyone or engage in activities which have the potential of
physical harm. (See Edward Abbey's book "Hayduke Lives!"
for a fictionalized yet accurate summation of the so-called "Code
of the Eco-Warrior.") In all the history of Earth First!, the
organization has never hurt anybody -- except through their bank
accounts.
The notion that the Unabomber was some how a member of or part of
Earth First! has been exposed as a hoax; a deliberate lie. A
Google
Search turns up numerous web pages that debunk the lie, among
the most informative being
http://www.fair.org/extra/9606/unabomb.html which covers the
whole hoax / deliberate deception. The dishonest liars at
Off-Road.COM don't care about the truth, it would seem.
Earth First! activists have engaged in numerous non-violent criminal
actions over the decades of its history which are well documented
enough without needing to attribute to them bizarre texts and violent
ideologies they don't hold merely to defame the organization. Earth
First! continues to practice their advocacy of non-violence and the
text maliciously being attributed to them violates utterly the
organization's Number 1 inviolate rule: Harm no human.
Greenpeace, Sea Shepherd and other largely successful organizations
also acquire long lists of unevidenced allegations levied against
them by various criminal corporations and environmentally-destructive
groups and individuals who have had their abuses curtailed by the
good guys and can only fight back by lying about their victorious
foes.
When the bad guys have to lie about those who oppose their abuses,
you know the good guys are winning. Trying to manufacture fictitious
links between Earth First! and the Unabomber, and trying to attribute
violent ideals to Earth First! merely means that Earth First! -- the
good guys -- are winning and that the planet rapers are casting about
in desperation.
For factual, accurate, verifiable information about Earth First!,
access the Internet web sites:
http://www.earthfirstjournal.org/
and review what the organizations stand for direct from their own
mouths. E-mail Earth First! yourself and ask them questions. They
won't deny that their organization engages in "direct action"
and civil disobedience. They won't deny that members of their
organization organize defense actions against planet rapers. At
the same time you'll note that Earth First! remains committed to a
policy of total non-violence, employing the "technology"
and the tactic of non-violent passive resistance.
Do a little homework and you'll find that this "how-to manual"
that follows violates everything that Earth First! stands for.
If you want to see how environmentalists actually stop abusive
wheeled vehicle use on public property, check out "Eco-Defense
Version Three" at:
http://www.omnipresence.mahost.org/inttxt.htm
Anyone who wants to claim this idiotic instruction manual was
written by Earth First! may E-mail me with their evidence and I will
gladly research their citations and update this web page with the
verified information provided. For now, however, here is the
uncensored but repaired, fixed, and corrected text of "How to
fight Motorcycles" by an anonymous, certainly homicidal kook.
If you don't like the fact that this web page exists, please feel
free to E-mail me your complaints as I would appreciate feedback.
If you're stupid enough to actually do any of these crimes,
also let me know so I can alert your local FBI Field Office. Thanks.
This little book assumes that the United States has been invaded
by enemy soldiers on motorcycles and that we have to fight and
harass them by guerrilla tactics. These dirty tricks are not to be
used against civilian riders because most of these defenses would
be illegal under those circumstances.
Besides, bikers are all nice guys who wouldn't think of trespassing
on private property, knocking down fences or "Keep Out"
signs, gouging deep trails in yards by "peeling out" and
accelerating fast, roaring past a chicken yard just to scare the
chickens, deliberately running over cats, dogs, chickens, and/or
other small domestic live stock for "sport," answering
conservation protests with a "V for Victory" sign, (one
finger at a time) as they speed away leaving their beer cans and
other casual trash lying around their still-smoldering camp fires
in high fire hazard areas.
OF COURSE NOT, THEY ARE ALL FINE UPSTANDING CITIZENS !!!
III. GENERAL NOTES
These suggestions involve the application of material that is usually
considered "throw away junk" that can be used in a booby trap
and left alone to do its job at no expense to the home defender except
a little physical exertion. So what if it has to stay hidden for a
year or more before it gets a chance to do it's bit for America?
It is willing. These ideas are by no means a complete list. They
are just the tip of the iceberg and hopefully will suggest other
efficient uses of any material that comes to hand.
The best place to plant these little goodies is in a known dirt
bike track as bikers have a tendency to follow where others have
gone before because they assume it is safe. Where a track passes
between two trees or bushes that are close together makes a good
location because it reduces the avenue within which bikers must
travel, just as in the middle of a dry lake would be the worst place
because there is so much other areas where the enemy soldier might
drive -- unless, of course, there is a fence across it with a gate
featuring a "KEEP OUT" sign that makes an irresistible
attraction.
A spike board is one of the simplest and most effective tricks to
discourage motorcyclists. It consists of an old board one or two
inches thick usually one or two feet long, and from four to twelve
inches wide with nails driven through from one side so the heads
are flush. These nails must be long enough and heavy enough to
hold up under the impact of a tire, otherwise they will bond
instead of puncture.
Nails in sizes known as #12, #16 or #20 are ideal for this purpose
because they are long enough that when the board is buried an inch
or so deep to hide it, it's still sticking up far enough to go through
a tire tread. If you are lucky, BOTH front and back tires will be
punctured. Heavy plywood works well too: 3/4 inch thick or heavier.
Filing the points of the nails makes for a slightly more efficient
defense but is not strictly needed.
Where a track passes between two bushes is a good location for this.
It consists of two fairly straight sections of tree limb, or two
pieces of 2x4's lumber about four feet long. The limbs are best
because they blend in better, but especially if the bushes are thick,
the 2x4's will do the job.
These limbs are placed one on each side of the track about four feet
apart. The lower end is placed loosely in a six inch deep hole to
keep it in place, and the upper end is laid against the bush, pointing
slightly uptrail.
Between the two limbs is tied a piece of rope or heavy wire about a
foot from the top end. This forms the "H."
When a moving bike hits this rope it pulls the ends of the limbs
towards each other and jambs them against either the machine or
the rider. This will do neither of them any good, especially if the
bike is moving at any speed, and if the ends of the limbs have a
tendency to be jagged. This forms the "A."
This caper will work almost as well with just one limb, and the other
end of the rope tied to something solid like a tree or the base of a
bush, or around a rock. It will shove the bike to one side instead
of squeezing it.
A trick that probably dates back to cave man days but is still used
because it is effective is the camouflaged pit dug across a trail.
A pit six feet deep with "punji" sticks in the bottom would
work fine, but that's too much work. A hole about 18 inches deep,
covered with easily collapsible cover -- such as twigs and leaves
-- will (when run over by an enemy soldier on a motorcycle) flip
said cycle briskly, hopefully breaking something, preferably bones.
Two feet long by a foot wide is about the minimum size needed for
a motorcycle sized wheel to drop into. Just be sure to remove and
scatter any excess dirt not needed to disguise the cover so the
soldier will not be alerted.
A cover can be made of anything that will support a thin layer of
dirt and / or leaves -- even a piece of cardboard, a sheet of tin,
or an old rusty window screen if the screen is not too rusty. This
can be supported by a few sticks laid across the hole, or even a
small bush jammed into the pit.
Since the dirt is supposed to hide the trap try to blend it in with
the surrounding area. If this is placed in a previous track, it's
a good idea to brush the newly spread earth with a small branch.
You might try to draw a suggestion of tire tracks across it with a
twig. Scatter a few leaves and twigs. Try to see how artistic a
job of camouflage you can do.
A 12 gauge shotgun shell makes a handy little device by which you
can blow a large hole in an enemy soldier's front tire. Combined
with a couple of pieces of ordinary water pipe wrapped in a plastic
bag (such as used in markets to carry home vegetables and fruit)
it will lie quietly waiting to do its job for a long time; a number
of year's even, ready, willing, and deadly.
As the illustration shows, all that is needed to fire this crude
shotgun is to hit down on the middle pipe so that the primer is
impacted against the firing pin. This causes the shell to explode
with the resulting damage to a motorcycle tire in the "severe"
range. Even if the thin sheet of plastic over the mouth of the
device is torn away and dirt clogs the "barrel," it is still
effective -- maybe more so because then it will act like a "land
mine" in miniature.
Take care in handling this device. Remember that if it is dropped
and hits in an upright position (that is with the firing pin
section down) it will go off.
In planting it in the ground be very careful not to hit the
protruding pipe with a shovel. Same deal: it will fire and we don't
want any home defenders hurt, just the enemy.
FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY DON'T LOAD THIS DEVICE UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO
PLANT IT!
A twelve gauge shotgun cartridge is the only size that will easily
fit a common water pipe size without machining (that is a 3/4 inch
water pipe.) The .800 inch outside diameter of the shell will go
into the .824 inch inside diameter pipe with .024 inch to spare
(theoretically).
It is a snug fit and you probably will have to clean up burrs and
blobs of galvanizing, but it will work. The only other
"possible" is to put a 28 gauge shell into a 1/2 inch pipe.
The shell is .615 inches in diameter and the pipe is supposed to be
.622 inches but allowing for manufacturing tolerances, it may or may
not work without considerable cleanup.
If you have access to a lathe you can chuck up a 1 inch diameter rod
of steel (cold rolled or equivalent) 3-1/2 to 4 inches long, and bore
out as follows:
It might also be interesting to try one of these bored out pieces
by not boring all the way through, but just enough to take the
cartridge. The whole thing should move like a ROCKET.
6. GASOLINE GRIEF
Leave a full gallon gasoline can in a cabin or outbuilding where it
can be stolen but be sure to spike it with a couple of cups of sugar
first. Shake well to help dissolve the sugar into the gas.
Sugar -- upon being burned in a combustion engine -- turns into an
abrasive almost as hard as a diamond (caramelizes piston sleeves.)
This scores the pistons and engine block -- usually beyond saving.
Don't put in too much sugar because this will merely gum up the
carburetor and stop the engine before the pistons can be damaged,
and we don't want that to happen.
A related trick similar in intent is to open a can of motor oil,
pour out some of the oil (about one cupful) and then put a handful
of abrasive into what's left.
Carefully wipe away any abrasive spilled on the outside. Plug the
hole with rolled-up paper and shake well to mix the grit into the oil.
This will give the impression that you opened a can to get enough oil
to fill a squirt can or top off a machine and are saving the rest.
Even though most of the abrasive will settle out if left long enough
there will always be enough in suspension to cause the thief
considerable grief. The more attractive you make your tainted oil
and the more easily you make the oil stolen, the more likely it will
be used by a biker to punish himself.
Good quality abrasive used for grinding valves or rocks can be obtained
from a lapidary rock shop where it is sold for polishing rocks by
tumbling them in a drum. 400 grit or 600 grit (or finer) is best
because it stays in suspension longer.
7. FISH HOOKS
There are excellent uses for fish hooks -- preferably old hooks: used,
rusty ones with decayed fish still clinging to them. Any kind or size
of fish hook is good but the best are the three pronged ones. They
hook from any side but even single hooks will do.
The simplest trick is to tie the hooks firmly to the tips of bushes
beside the bike trail so that as the enemy soldier rides by he
brushes against them and is hooked; some times just by his uniform
or better yet by the skin.
A method that may produce better results is a "trot-line"
effect with the line strung from one bush, or tree, to another
across the trail.
To those of you who haven't had the advantages of a mid-West fishing
boyhood a "trot-line" is a main line hung between two points
with a number of short lines tied to it at intervals with hooks on
the ends of the short lines.
The advantage is that if the soldier does ride through he is sure to
be hooked. The disadvantage is that he might notice it and ride
around to avoid it.
That last sentence suggests another trick: Pick the most obvious
path by which to go around and booby-trap it with a buried trap.
A way to get almost the same effect is to lash a number of hooks to
bushes beside the trail then tie a plain line across the trail,
anchored at each end to the branches with the hooks so that when
he rides through, the line pulls the two branches against him, thus
assuring a "strike." OUCH!
With so many television sets in use it is not hard to find a
burned-out picture tube. THIS MAKES AN EXCELLENT BOOBY-TRAP.
Bury one in a bike trail just deep enough to put about an inch of
dirt on top and scatter the rest of the dirt. The tube is buried
"face up." In other words the surface that you look at
is facing up. Pack dirt around the tube to give it firm support.
When a motorcycle tire impacts against this it will, of course,
shatter. Since it is a vacuum tube the implosion will send glass
shards flying like a bomb. This is one thing television repair men
have to watch out for, and why they are so careful in handling these
tubes.
It makes a picture for the home defender to smilingly contemplate:
an enemy soldier driving over one of these, his front wheel suddenly
dropping down a foot at the same time daggers of glass come flying
around. GREAT!!!
An empty five gallon water bottle (like Sparkletts) works just
about as well.
Within the construction trade there is used what's known as
"pencil rod," a steel rod about the diameter of an
ordinary pencil. This size lends itself to an interesting --
and devilish -- device known as a "wheel grabber."
(How do I know it's known as that? I just named it.)
Take a piece of this pencil rod about two and a half feet long, bend
six inches of the ends at a right angle (90 degrees), both pointing
the same way. Dig a hole across a bike trail a foot deep, a foot wide
and a couple of feet long. Place across this pit one of the wheel
grabbers with the bent ends up.
Make sure the ends will stay up by some simple way like twigs pushed
into the ground next to them, or a convenient rock.
Place a cover over the hole (like cardboard) and cover lightly with
dirt.
When a biker rides over this, the rod will be bent so that the ends
will be forced into the spokes. It is hard to have a wheel turn
after it has had a steel rod jammed into it, carried up and wedged
up under the frame and / or fender.
This is a variation of the Spike Board and can cause much more
serious damage, either to the enemy soldier or to the motorcycle,
or both.
In effect a "Tip Board" is a Spike Board with one end
extending over a pit so that when a cycle drives over it the board
is "tipped" so that one end is in the pit, solidly lodged
against one side while the other end is raised up against either
the cycle, or the soldier, or both.
The amount and kind of damage this can do depends on how carefully
designed the set-up is, where, how big, and what kind of spikes are
driven into the board. The least it can do is to flip the bike. How
hard, of course, depends on how fast the machine was traveling at
the moment of impact.
Any place you expect a fall you can hide sharpened spikes to add to
the fun and festivities. The spikes in the part that raises up
should be driven into the end a couple of inches to hold them
solidly, then the head of the spike sawed off and the "stub"
filed to a sharp point. This way it can stab a nice hole in either
the biker or the crankcase of the motorcycle.
It is difficult to retain oil in a crankcase that has been punctured,
just as a leg could leak a bit with a deep hole torn into it.
A heavy mire or cable stretched at an angle across the trail will
suddenly change the direction of travel of the front end of a cycle,
the resulting action being "...ears over teakettle", with,
hopefully, broken parts.
If the terrain and vegetation allows, the easiest way is to tie the
wire at ground level around a heavy bush or small tree, lead it
across the trail at about a 45 degree angle to shoulder-high in
another tree.
It should be designed so that the wire will be hit slightly above
the axle area of the front wheel. If it hits too low, the cycle
might climb over it and you wouldn't get quite the interesting
results you expect.
If there is no tree or heavy bush conveniently placed for the ground
level tie you can use what is known in the construction trade as a
"dead man." This is merely a board (or a section of tree
limb or a cement block, etc.) buried in the ground a foot or two and
placed at right angles to the "line of pull" so you can
anchor to it.
The "direction of throw" is determined by which side of
the trail the ground level tie is placed, so, naturally, if the
trail leads along the edge of a cliff or gully you place the low end
next to the drop-off. This compounds the fun.
This is still another variation of the Spike Board, using a heavy
(1.5 inch or 2 inch wide) power hack saw such as is used in machine
shops. Even though the blade is too dulled to cut metal it will
work fine on rubber.
Mount it on a board as shown in the illustrations. They are
particularly effective when planted at the bottom of a hill. Just
make sure the cutting edge of the teeth point "uphill."
Under the kind of acceleration needed to push a motorcycle and rider
up a steep hill this would saw through a tire completely around the
circumference, leaving the tire in two halves.
This makes it rather difficult to patch.
These old saw blades can be gotten from most any machine shop. If
there aren't any in-the scrap barrel, ask the manager to save you
some.
13. NECK WIRES
Wires stung "neck high" to a bike rider can be fatal to
an enemy soldier. A broken neck will seriously hamper a soldiers
activities.
Ideal wire to use is very thin "piano wire" lightly
daubed with a dark brown or black paint to kill the shine. Since
this wire has a tensile strength of something like 100,000 pounds
per square inch, it can be stretched between two trees very tightly.
Any wire will do the job, even rusty barbed wire. Barbed wire has
the advantage of gouging deep scratches even if it misses the neck
area and only pulls across the chest and arms. This smarts,
especially if the rider is thrown and gets dirt in the wounds.
A variation is a loop hung down from a tree limb. This will act as
a noose and as it tightens around the riders neck it will pull him
off the cycle. He will probably have some difficulty in breathing.
14. TIN TROUBLE
This is a variation of the Tip Board which is a variation of the
Spike Board which is... Oh, well, here it is.
If you can find a sheet of tin not over a couple of feet wide and
five or six feet long, you have all the material you need for this
trick. An old piece of corrugated roofing will work just fine.
Dig a pit across a bike path just as wide as your sheet of tin, and
about two and a half or three feet long and about a foot and a half
deep.
Carefully place the tin across this until it is centered (with the
long way pointing along the path.)
Cover the tin with the dirt dug out of the pit to make sure it is
hidden. When an enemy soldier drives his bike onto this it will
suddenly sag in the middle and the ends will rise up into position
to gouge the riders ankles and/or slash the back tire, possibly
flipping bike and rider in the process. A CHEERFUL THOUGHT.
15. MORE SPIKE VARIATIONS
Let's not overlook the simpler forms of spikes like a big washer with
a bolt fastened through it and the tip of the bolt sharpened either
by grinding or filing. This will look like an oversize roofing nail.
Incidentally roofing nails are not very effective on dirt: they
require solid backing like pavement, so don't waste much time on
them; although they are better than nothing.
If you have a supply of roofing nails and want to use them for this
purpose, the simplest way is to drive them through a small piece of
tin and lay the tin on the trail. This keeps the nail pointing up
and if it is one of the longer type -- like 1.5 or 2 inch -- it will
puncture a tire.
A section of steel rod sharpened and planted in a trail with an inch
or so of the sharpened end up works great. Why limit to steel? Even
brass or aluminum works. A piece of pipe with the end sharpened by
sawing off at a sharp angle is very usable. It resembles (and acts
like) a heavy chisel or gouge. A couple of inches sticking up in the
middle of a trail will really do the Job.
What common items have I missed???
USE YOUR IMAGINATION AND HAVE FUN!!!
Just about everything the author suggests can kill or maim, and the
only suggestion I found that could be remotely supportable is section
number 6, the one titled "GASOLINE GRIEF." The only
suggestion I found faintly amusing was section number 8, the one
titled "T.V. PICTURE TUBE TRICK" which simply wouldn't
work as suggested.
What you just read was almost certainly written by a High School
student who has experience working in a machine shop or working
with construction tools. There's no environmental rhetoric and no
appeals of stopping motorcycle riders for any ecology reasons.
The motivations for the author to write the above will almost
certainly remain forever unknown but a good guess would be
jealousy; the author wanted a dirt bike and, since he'll never get
one, wants to have others kill or maim people who do have them.
The author himself is an ineffective coward who would never engage
in such criminal acts himself.
Return to The Skeptic Tank's main index page.
II. Forward by the anonymous author
III. General Notes
1. Spike Board
2. THE "H to A" CAPER
3. NECK BREAKER PIT
4. TO BLOW A TIRE
5. MORE WAYS TO BLOW A TIRE
6. GASOLINE GRIEF
7. FISH HOOKS
8. T.V. PICTURE TUBE TRICK
9. WHEEL GRABBER
10. TIP BOARDS
11. FLIP WIRE
12. POWER HACK SAW BOARD
13. NECK WIRES
14. TIN TROUBLE
15. MORE SPIKE VARIATIONS
IIII. Afterward by Fredric L. Rice
http://www.earthfirst.org/
II. Forward by the anonymous author
1. SPIKE BOARD
2. THE "H TO A" CAPER
3. NECK BREAKER PIT
4. TO BLOW A TIRE
5. MORE WAYS TO BLOW A TIRE
For a 12 gage bore, 13/16 inch (.8125)
For a 16 gage bore, ??/?? inch (.750)
For a 20 gage bore, 23/32 inch (.718)
For a 28 gage bore, 5/8 inch (.625)
8. T.V. PICTURE TUBE TRICK
9. WHEEL GRABBER
10. TIP BOARDS
11. FLIP WIRE
12. POWER HACK SAW BOARD
IIII. Afterward by Fredric L. Rice
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