By: Ryan Shaw
Re: Lyric of the Week: Meet Cthulhu, Darling

* Forwarded (from: masq_music) by Ryan Shaw using timEd/2 1.10+.
* Originally from Liche (235:1109/5) to All.
* Original dated: Tue Jan 02, 00:16

>>> Forwarded by Liche (235:1109/5)
>>> Area : ERIS (PODS Eris)
>>> From : Phillip Barker, 93:9801/0 (Sunday December 24 1995 13:05)
>>> To   : All
>>> Subj : Meet Cthulhu, Darling

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A SHOGGOTH
(Tune: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"
 Style: allegro, con calamari)

[chorus]
Grandma got run over by a shoggoth
Looks like she's been mauled by angry Spam
Some folks say there's no such thing as Cthulhu,
But tell that to the thing that squished our Gram.


We had offered her the guest room
In our cottage by the sea,
But she insisted she would walk home
Though the night wind seemed to say "Tekeli-li!"

When we found her the next morning,
She was strewn about in chunks
She had been decapitated,
Crushed, and covered o'er with protoplasmic gunk.

[chorus]

Now we're all concerned for Grandpa,
Though the doc says he'll be fine
It just doesn't quite seem normal
To decorate a Christmas tree with Elder Signs.

All our relatives in Arkham
Called to share our bitter tears,
But we still declined their offer
To reanimate poor Grandma for New Year's.

[chorus]

Though the turkey smells delicious,
We're just not a hungry bunch...
How can we have Christmas dinner,
When the thought of Grandma makes us lose our lunch?

I tell all my friends and neighbors,
"This was Grandma's dying wish:
Just be ready with your shotguns
If, when Santa comes, he smells like rotting fish!"

(Sing it, Grandpa!)
[chorus, repeated ad nauseam... once should be enough :-)]