The Devil and the Lawyer -- Part 1

    A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the
    Devil.  As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw
    a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

    "That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and
    that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

    "Shut up!", barked the Devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork.
    "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"


The Devil and the Lawyer -- Part 2

    The Devil visited a young lawyer's office and made him an offer.

    "I can arrange some things for you.", the Devil said. "I'll
    increase your income to $1,000,000 a year.  Your partners will
    defer to you; your clients will love you; judges will respect
    you; you'll have 4 months of vacation each year and live to
    be 100.

    For that entire time, you'll be blessed with good health and
    looks. All I require in return is that the souls of your wife
    and children's souls be mine, so that they may writhe and
    scream in mortal agony for all eternity in Hell."

    The lawyer thought for a moment, frowned, and said "What's
    the catch?".