Scientology Crime Syndicate

24 Nov 2000

Heaver Jents <heaver@theCommode.com>

   Davey M: Hmmm, how about a TCG based on Sign'ntology and critics?
            Moron clucks, shakes head with his fellow degenerates
    Render: Heaver:  scratch and sniff?
   HeaverJ: i have some of those, Mikey - no joke
   HeaverJ: i have Penthouse cards - *very* nice!
    Render: Heber:  i'm envious!
     Moron: duh? huh... what?
   HeaverJ: Nekkid wommen! like the pic I saw of Jenna on abs yesterday
            Moron clucks, shakes head with his fellow degenerates
    Render: whozzat?
     Moron: wtf is that?
   HeaverJ: nudie pics from earlier in her career
   HeaverJ: my faqvorite cards are still my Penthouse girls   :0
   HeaverJ: Davey - what is TCG?
   HeaverJ: trading card game?
   Davey M: Trading card game.  A'la Pokemon, Magic: The Gathering.
   HeaverJ: Comic Images did a Hubturd/Scamtology set
   HeaverJ: I have dungeons and dragons sets - kinda like boiler rooms,
            chain lockers and electrical vaults.
 MartyMark: LOL!
Davey M: Just think..on one side, we can have Hubturd as a character card and
            Mittens on the other side...with events like "Picket", and "Dev-T'd
            by Useless Litigation!"
   HeaverJ: Yeah!!!
   HeaverJ: Shore flap/successful black op!
   HeaverJ: fair game/massive DA attack!
  WMcShame: Heaver!
   HeaverJ: Out security/black PR campaign...
   Davey M: Sekrit Documents/Rise of Internet...
  WMcShame: Channel invasion. Takeover attempts...
 MartyMark: Hi to WMcShame and welcome to our chat
  WMcShame: :)
 MartyMark: oooo...
 MartyMark: OSA?
   Davey M: Hubturd's Butt/Vistaril gun  *ewwww*...
            Moron clucks, shakes head with his fellow degenerates
   HeaverJ: Keith Henson could be the joker in the deck
   HeaverJ: and Wollersheim is the wild card
 MartyMark: LOL!
    Render: Sounds great!!!
   HeaverJ: My kid designed a game called "Xenu's Alien Pizza"
 MartyMark: You're having a lot of fun with all this, Heaver :-)
   HeaverJ: Yes
  WMcShame: heh...good one Heaver!!
 MartyMark: It's great to see, Heaver :-)
   Davey M: Hmm, we got Hubturd, and Mittens...where would Xenu fit in?
   HeaverJ: It was a homework assignment, Warrin'
 MartyMark: I think it's extreemly important to make fun of it all...
  WMcShame: Yes... We couldn't J&D while the ol' man was still alive!
   HeaverJ: Xenu could be the God of Fate/The Why Is God...
  WMcShame: Hubturd attempted to make laughter evil.
   HeaverJ: yeah Warrin'
 MartyMark: That's right
 MartyMark: Suspicious...
   HeaverJ: You heard of Julie and Dick More?
HeaverJ: I like their email addy - MoreJnD@aol.com (more joking and degrading)
 MartyMark: Hubturd promulgated such suspicion of any laughter...
   Davey M: Heeheee..... John Ravolta/Battlefield Earth.
 MartyMark: LOL!
   Davey M: Ok, this is scary.  I'm actually plotting a way to do this.
            Moron clucks, shakes head with his fellow degenerates...
 MartyMark: I may have to rent BE
 MartyMark: HEHEHEH
    JennaE: Yeah, but you can't yet HA HA
   HeaverJ: yeah - and Gladiator is out now!  But not BE...
 MartyMark: BE's not out for rental - maybe it won't make it
   Davey M: Ok, which of you evilbad SP's wants ta be in on it?
 MartyMark: If it's supressive, I want to know!
   HeaverJ: be/do/have - i'll skip the 'be' and 'do' and just take the 'have'
    JennaE: DVD's available for advance order.
   Davey M: Hmmm, two stats...money, and support.
    JennaE: And I've already got dibs on the MST3K version.
 MartyMark: You be what we tell you to be, you do what we tell you to do,
            you have nothing.  It's all in the Green Vols.
 MartyMark: lo Goober
   HeaverJ: LOL MartyMark!
   HeaverJ: *SO* true...
 MartyMark: Yup :)
 MartyMark: Staff poverty is On Policy
   Davey M: L Ron Hubturd.  Cost $2000 to put out, garners 5 support.  Activate
            Hubturd once per turn to gain $100 per sigh'ntology character.
   HeaverJ: don't forget the cards for the Int Finance Police and the Inspector
            General for Ethics and Image
    Goober: hey Heaver!!
   Davey M: Ohh, I gotta do it now..Three card types.  Places, People, Actions.
            Mikey wields a wand of +3 enturbulation
   HeaverJ: Then you can have "chance" cards like in Monopoly.  Draw bad ones
            like "libs cancelled" or "no pay" or "rice and beans for a month"
            or "condition of emergency" or "Hit the RPF"
   HeaverJ: "Hill 10"
   Davey M: Ohhh, Hail XENU, this will be great!!!
   HeaverJ: We should call the game "The Road To Xenu" (kinda like Candyland or
            Monopoly) or "The Ultimate Con Game"
   Davey M: Gotcha, Heaver...
            Moron clucks, shakes head with his fellow degenerates
   HeaverJ: Hey anyone mind if i post this to ars?
 MartyMark: Heaver, there's already a great and very moving book called
            "The Road To Xenu" :-)
 MartyMark: But I totally duplicate you
   HeaverJ: I know MartyMark
   HeaverJ: Margery Wakefield's book
   Davey M: Go right ahead.. Hell, leave my name in it.
    Render: Change my name to Buttnor
 MartyMark: Yes
 ***Render is now known as Buttnor***
 MartyMark: have you read it?
   HeaverJ: yes, MartyMark
 MartyMark: it's excellent
   HeaverJ: ok, Mikey
 MartyMark: you going OSA, Mike?
   Buttnor: MartyMark - they need al the help they can get!
   Davey M: Marcarb invasion...We lose $3000 to psychs, Critics gain like amount
 MartyMark: ROFL!
 MartyMark: Maybe you can arrange for the dissection of Henson's head
   Davey M: Condition of Emergency...All orgs produce +$120,000 per week.
            Countered by "Revelation of violations of human rights" card.
 MartyMark: LOL
 MartyMark: I'd rather have a board game called "Up the Bridge"
   Buttnor: The Bridge to Nowhere...
 MartyMark: At each stage, you do something that comedically depicts that level
            of the bridge
 MartyMark: yeah
 MartyMark: I always thought "up the bridge" was stuch a strange phrase
 MartyMark: you go over a bridge, not up it..
Davey snickers...World Expansion, countered by Germany Getting a Clue
   HeaverJ: then there's "over the rainbow" too, MartyMark
 MartyMark: but, a board game, "up the bridge" would be great
 MartyMark: you'd have pieces "pre-clears" and "pre-OT's"
 MartyMark: you'd have a bank and money...
   HeaverJ: i'm gonna post this to ars
 MartyMark: you have to roll the dice and move up the bridge...and draw cards
            like "dev T" - move back 3 spaces...
   Davey M: LOL!!! Good one MartyMark!!!
   Davey M: I'll be looking forward to it.   :)
   HeaverJ: Thanks, Davey!
   HeaverJ: Where do our underground vaults come into play?
            Davey snags a notebook and starts filling out card ideas.
 MartyMark: when you get to the platinum disks in gold, or is it titanium
   Davey M: Response to the "Lerma" card, which makes us play with our
            hands above the table and cards face-up.
 MartyMark: you mean those vaults, Heaver, where we keep the titanium CD roms
            or whatever it was we _said_ they were doing???
 MartyMark: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
   HeaverJ: i gotta go soon, see you all later, ok?
   HeaverJ: yes, MartyMark
   HeaverJ: i love that one, kar
 MartyMark: c'ya all later Heaver, keep on smilin'...
   Davey M: Write it up, MartyMark.  I'll push it through AVC Int first thing
            tomorrow.  We'll distribute it through Bridge with backing from
            LyinBrian Swan, Ken Garbanzo and the Festerback Bros.  And we
            could probably milk Ravolta for a few more "clams" too...


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