Scientology Crime Syndicate

08 Dec 2000

gs1100 <gs1100@my-deja.com>

Miss Buffy St. Hubbins
24 The Mews
London SW1 UK

Hi Twinkle-toes!

Still enjoying my stay here at the Ft. Haroldson. I had a chance to do some sightseeing yesterday. I got to see the inside of several identical rooms, the backside of a number of opaque windows, and the inside of a bus. Almost too much fun!

Just to had to bring you up to speed on my Satireology, *™ case! I am now on OT .003 on The Footpath to Total Freedom, and loving every minute of it! Today’s lesson involved sitting in front of a multichannel video reciever, while clutching two cans of pre-chilled Budweiser. I had the most amazing cognition while running an incident involving whether Rachel will ever realize she’s just married her illegitimate half-brother.

Are you ready? Here goes….

I Mock my Own Reactive Mind!!!!!

That’s right! All this biting satire was here within me the whole time! Isn’t that wonderful? All I had to do was follow Elron Hubert’s fabulous “Drech” to finally see the light! It’s really worth the money this time!

Now, I know we’re not supposed to tell anyone about this, but I just can’t keep it to myself. It’s just SO great. Here’s some of the “Drech” that leads you to this fabulous new revelation!

(PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t let anyone know I sent you this. It’s all super-secret and I’ll be in big trouble fer sure if anyone finds out I passed it on to you. But the wins are so big, you just HAVE to try this out for yourself!!)

Got to a Park.
Find a tree.
Stand several inches from the tree.
Repeatedly ram your forehead against the tree until you receive
acknowledgement or unconsciousness.

Walk around in the park.
Find a squirrel.
Crouch down in front of the squirrel, and repeat the following phrase:

“I am a nut.”
“I am a nut.”
“I am a nut.”
“I am a nut”.
“I am a nut.”
“I am a nut.”

Continue until you receive acknowledgement.

Then carefully pry the squirrel off your head, return to base and KR your win.

Isn’t that just amazing? You simply must give it a go, darling. Uh-Oh. Looks like it’s time to go. My chaperone is here to make me run to the bus while staring fixedly at the ground. Toodles!


* Satireology, The Science of Knowing How to Mock ™, is practiced by millions of devotees worldwide.

"All that is required for tyranny to triumph is for good men to do nothing".

GS1100, phD.(mail-order),BSc.(incomplete),PTS,SP1


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