19 Dec 2000

gs1100 <gs1100@my-deja.com>

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR THE SIXTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT
IN AND FOR PINELLAS COUNTY, FLORIDA
CIVIL DIVISION

CHURCH OF SATIREOLOGY FLAG SERVICE ORGANIZATION,
DUNCAN MCCABBAGE, MARY DeMOLD and MYRON FENDERHOFT,

Plaintiffs,

MR. KRIS KRINGLE , aka St. Nick, Father Christmas, Santa Claus et. al., his joint and several agents, elves and helpers, reindeer handlers and sled technicians, twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree,

Defendants.

CASE NO. 00-XMAS-CI-1 1

MOTION TO SANCTION MR. KRINGLE AND HIS AGENTS FOR
BREAK AND ENTER, BREACH OF TRUST, RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY,
BEING A LYING CRIMINAL FRAUD, AND DAMAGES.

THIS CAUSE came before the Court on December 26, 2000 upon the Motion of Plaintiff Church of Satireology Flag Service Organization to enjoin the Defendants from committing any more outrageous, criminal and bigoted conduct upon said organisation.

PLAINTIFFS claim that Mr. Kris Kringle of the area of Nome, Alaska , committed break and enter on Church property, failed to obey a lawful injunction, caused severe damage to the chimney and hearth area, failed to clean up after his reindeer, and caused damage to several areas of the roof.

Several church members were stationed on the roof to prevent such occurrences and serve anyone landing there with the proper papers. However, it is alleged that Mr. Kringle or his criminal agents drugged these members, causing them to fall asleep, and awaken after the incident had taken place, with their heads filled with visions of sugarplums.

PLAINTIFFS further claim to have incurred large costs from having hired bomb-disposal technicians to inspect and render harmless several suspicious packages left in the premises by Mr. Kringle.

In addition, the PLAINTIFFS claim that “Ho!Ho!Ho! is a demeaning racist epithet, the sound of jingling bells interrupts their members’ religious studies, and “ Have a Merry Christmas “ interferes with their members’ rights and religious freedoms to have a lousy Christmas if they want to.

This action further claims that Mr. Kringle attempted to poison the Church president by filling his stocking with a noxious, black, hard substance derived from fossilized hydrocarbons.

Mr. Kringle is further alleged to have been committing serious fraud for hundreds of years by making impressionable children believe he exists.

PLAINTIFFS demand a permanent injunction barring Mr. Kringle and his agents from encroaching on Church property, a public apology, a statement from the DEFENDANT that he’s a fictional creation, 20 million dollars in actual damages, 180 million dollars in punitive damages, and a pony.

Parties to meet in Chambers, at St. Petersburg, Pinellas County, Florida, this 31st day of December, 2000.

FRANK SINATRA, (deceased),
Circuit Judge
and Lounge Singer

Copies furnished to:

Counsel of record
J.Larsen Pettifogger, cartoon lawyer
Plus, there’s a stack of copies in the foyer, please take one

--
"All that is required for tyranny to triumph is for good men to do nothing".

GS1100, phD.(mail-order),BSc.(incomplete),PTS,SP1