Scientology Crime Syndicate

From: crichileau@aol.comKoX (The Cardinal)
Date: 29 Apr 2000 08:27:38 GMT

"VelcoKitty and Rosie"
Kitty Meets the Registrar

Dedicated to Ramsey in Toronto. Have another smoke buddy... the more you smoke the quicker you'll be gone.

<lights dim>
Enter: TraviSargent
"When we last left Kitty, she was about to be stripped of her inheritance...
Uhmm I mean invest, loan and pay for courses."
<Lights out>

The Registrar looked at Kitty like a Lion looks at Christians in the Flavian Ampatheatre. Kitty could have sworn she heard Duran Duran singing "Hungry Like the Wolf" but that only happens in the movies...

"Kitty we have several online staff that could use a hand up the bridge.... Of course they'll pay you back in full once their OT abilities draw in an excellent salary.....sign here." The wolf said.

"And here"
"And here"

The Wolf gathered up the papers and slid them into a folder... "Now Kitty lets discuss how to put that money to work for you. Right now silver coins are an extremely wise investment. Sign here... And here."

Into the folder..... "And oil Kitty... we have a great opportunity for you to invest in an oil well that is nearing completion! With the cost of fuel these days... you'll be living like a queen inside of 6 months! Sign here... here... and lastly here..."

Into the folder.... "Now Kitty, lets talk about your course load... I think you shou.... " began the Wolf.

"Here" said Kitty quickly signing the last of the paperwork...a glazed look in here eye. She plunked down on the floor and looked dazed... The Wolf chuckled and quick-stepped out the door singing, "Mo money... Mo money... WhOOooooOOp WhoooOOoooOOooOOp"

"What am I gonna do all my plans are dashed. I'll have to wait 6 months for that oil investment to come in..." She sighed.

There was a knock at the Flat door... Kitty crossed the room to open the door. It was Wolf.

"Hi! Kitty I'm glad I caught you at home.... I have some bad news. Terrible really. But thats life. What can you do... " said the Wolf.

"What happened!" Kitty said. "Is it the Sps... are they picketing the Org? Those RATBASTARDS"

"Huh? Uhh No Kitty," said Wolf. "The bottom dropped out of the silver coin market. Im afraid you took quite a loss... You started with $75,000.00 worth of coins and now you have..." Wolf dug into his pocket and handed Kitty a wad of cash and a few coins... "$430.46.. Yes that right..." Smiling Wolf took back the money, "And by co-incidence the new WER6-HYT98 course costs $430.46. Its will allow you to let go of financial losses easier"

"Its only been 2 minutes since I bought them!!! My coins.... gone?" Kitty whined "Like they were never there," Wolf purred....

"I have more bad news Kitty... The oil.. Well its the wrong kind. Far to think to be pumped up to the surface" said the Wolf. "You now own a share in several acres of land that have an oil derrick on it... Weeell and a big pile of tailings from a strip mine nearby. And a low level radioactive dump. Oh yea and a medical waste storage building...."

Kitty smiled and nodded it would be all right some auditing and she'd be back in the pink in no time....

"Oh while Im here Kitty.. I need you to sign this... Taxes are due on that property and you'll need a bank loan to pay them... we'll handle that for you.. Ok?

Kitty nodded and smiled as she signed "Its really great to have someone looking out for me!"


A small hunched over man crept along the side of the Org, oblivious to the chilly wind of Toronto... He rose up and peered into the bathroom window to look at woman inside. Once Gregg was handled she would have him.... he smiled at the thought. Be so long since he even wanted to 2D... He scrunched back down and lite a Kool. As he took drag after drag on the smoke he thought about his master plan....

He really does not have one.. He is a *ronbot* His master plan is what Ron wrote down decades ago as a lark. In fact Ron neve..... <<<<<<SLAP>>>>> "SHUT UP" The man slapped himself. Tech works.. It will bring Gregg to his knees before me. He will bow before the might of Scientology and I... a deep belly laugh erupted from the depths of the corpulent carcass that is Ramsey.. Ramsey entered the Org again and sat down on the floor in the corner out of sight.. He began to rock back and forth moaning. A rope of drool dripped to the floor.. The other people in the Org gave him a wide berth... Here was the poster boy for bad auditing...

Cardinal Tony Biggleswirth KoX SP2
Look Ma.... a new website
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
Cry "Squeak!" And let loose the Four Ferrets of the Apocalypse!


The views and opinions stated within this web page are those of the author or authors which wrote them and may not reflect the views and opinions of the ISP or account user which hosts the web page. The opinions may or may not be those of the Chairman of The Skeptic Tank.

Return to The Skeptic Tank's main Index page.

E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank