Declaration of Zoe Woodcraft Part 2

71. I then did the condition of doubt that is designed to keep people in the Scientology organization. During this condition you have to compare the statistics of two groups you are trying to decide between. I was shown church propaganda about how wonderful the Scientology organization was, like Freedom magazine. I was then shown statistics concerning crime and children using Ritalin, as well as news stories about arsons and death. This was to prove to me that the scientology world had better statistics and was more ethical than the "Wog" (non-scientology) world. I was told about how bad psychiatrist were and all the horrible things they do to people in order to compare how scientology is a much better method of mental health. Also, I was so ashamed of being assigned this condition that I simply wanted to get out of it. The condition of doubt is a lower condition and one also loses privileges and is looked down upon when in doubt.

72. I also had a conversation with my mom about my doubt. She was angry about my not wanting to be in the Sea Org. She asked me if my father had been influencing me against scientology. She even called my sister in Los Angeles and told her to relay the message to my father to not say anything to me against scientology. She asked me where I got the idea that I might want to go to college. She thought this was completely insane.

73. At this point, I decided to stay in the Cadet org. I was eleven years old.

74. When I was twelve or thirteen I was recruited into the Cadet TTC (Technical Training Corps.) We were in training to become supervisors and word-clearers for the cadet org. I now studied the works of L. Ron Hubbard eleven hours a day, six days a week. On Sundays, I did ten hours of regular schooling. I was studying adult courses like the Student Hat course and the Hubbard Qualified Scientologist course. These are the same courses offered to adults in the orgs and missions around the world. I did this for almost a year.

75. During this time I had no free days other than Sea Org day and Christmas day and one two week trip which was very fun. We drove on a bus and went camping and visited Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania. This was an extraordinarily special trip and only a few cadets were allowed to go. In ten years there had only been four such trips all of which were arranged by Rusty Hilton and his wife.

76. I was studying the Student Hat course for seven months. It was very difficult and I hated it. Soon, I was being asked to leave the cadet org and go into the Sea Org proper. This looked attractive to me, as I hated the TTC and the Student Hat course. I decided to join the Sea Org (SO) and was routed onto what is called the "EPF" or Estates Project Force, which is the first step in training for the SO. I was fourteen years old.

77. Now, I begin the EPF. Again I am moved to a new dorm, which was quite crowded and located at the Hacienda Gardens. I studied at the staff training building near the Super Power building.

78. The general schedule was to wake at 7:30 or 8:00 to be at muster {meeting} by 9:00. We then had twenty-five minutes or less to eat breakfast. Then we had to race to quickly clean up after meal. From there I went to work doing cleaning or heavy-duty physical work. This included mopping floors, polishing and dusting banisters, vacuuming, carrying camera equipment for Gold studios, putting up plywood in the Hacienda Gardens where they were renovating, laying carpeting and shoveling gravel, intended for the Sandcastle roof, into the bed of a dump truck.

79. Specifically, for many days I worked all day in the heat of a Florida summer shoveling gravel into the bed of a truck. The truck was very tall and I had to reach and strain to toss the gravel from the heavy shovel. I became dizzy and faint while doing this work. Sometimes we were given water but not often and we were not allowed to take many breaks, as there was so much work to be done.

80. Another time we were re-carpeting the Clearwater bank building. There were a lot of teenagers working on this project. There was one hired carpet layer and a bunch of EPFers. We were tearing out carpet, putting down glue, ripping out sideboards and using a "knee pusher" to flatten out the carpet. I worked at this for a week, sleeping during the day and working during the night, all through the night. The staff was eating in this building during the day.

81. While I was doing the above a older Russian man (about 60) named Sasha had a carpet knife and accidentally slashed his arm. He was bleeding terribly and no one was doing anything to stop the bleeding. I grabbed hold of his arm and put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. We walked to a van outside, trailing blood, and drove to the hospital. There was so much blood all over that the nurse had to ask which one of us was bleeding.

82. At the hospital, the doctor was trying to communicate to Sasha but he didn't speak English. I finally told him we were with scientology and he agreed to treat him. He received stitches and I returned to work.

83. Another project we did was remove upholstery tacks from the nautical chairs in the CB and replace them with new ones. Again, we were working all night long and sleeping and studying during daylight hours. We did this for three nights in a row.

84. Mr. Dave Englehart, who was the EPF In charge, was known to have a very bad temper. One man named Vladimir from Russia had smelly feet and Mr. Englehart told him to handle it. One morning at muster he screamed, "What's that fucking smell! I thought you to get that handled!" He then pushed another EPF person (dorm captain) so the whole line of people was knocked about. He then went to Vladimir, who spoke and understood no English, and yanked up his foot and knocked Vladimir to the ground. He tore the shoe from his foot and threw it, yelling at Vladimir that he should have soaked his feet in bleach water. Vladimir was very upset and shaken by this as were we all.

85. There was another young man named Josh Greenwood who was younger than me. There was a bad storm and we all went to the Sandcastle to place sandbags. Mr. Englehart told us this was very important to protect the Sandcastle and if any of us fell in the ocean to swim to the side and for no one else to jump in to help. Josh snickered at the intensity of Mr. Englehart's speech and Mr. Englehart responded by shoving the boy and dangling him over the edge of a high stoop - about five feet high - and pretending he would drop him to the pavement below. The boy was very shaken and cowed.

86. On the EPF we had to be with our group at all times. Once I walked to the store by myself and the EPF captain ran after me and asked me where I was going as I knew I wasn't allowed to go by myself. Also, all phone calls to anyone outside of scientology were regulated. In fact I was told that frequent contact with outside family members was forbidden; once a week was too frequent. Often, he would allow no phone calls at all, always complaining about the outer contact.

87. I was on the EPF for nine months. This is an extremely long time to be on the EPF. Most people do it in weeks. I had to go back for word clearing on what I had studied on the TTC. All of this study correction and discipline for going slow and being told I wasn't smart really shook my confidence and made me think I was a dull person. Eventually, I just went back to the cadet org. This was in mid-1999.

88. Here I worked again, reposted to a new job. Of course, I was back in a new dorm, but now I could also visit my mom on Saturday mornings. On the EPF, I couldn't see her at all because those on the EPF are not allowed the Saturday morning time off.

89. It is hard for me to remember what happened next. At some point they were working to get me to return to the EPF. I kept saying no, no, no. I finally told them I was not at all sure I wanted to dedicate my entire life to the Sea Org. The moment I became honest and told them this, I was again placed in a condition of doubt.

90. In addition, I was placed on a program to "handle" my feelings about not wanting to be a Sea Org member. While doing this program, my father and sister (who was by now out of the sea org herself and living a normal life with my father in Los Angeles) invited me on a vacation to Hawaii. I really wanted to go with them and I sought permission. At first, permission was denied, but I argued and argued until I was allowed to go.

91. During this trip, my dad would mildly criticize the sea org and scientology. I always immediately defended both organizations, just as I had always been taught. When we returned to LA from Hawaii, my dad really came down hard on me about the sea org. Eventually, he broke through. I admitted I really didn't want to be in the Sea Org and I did want to try going to school like a regular kid. He told me I could stay with him right then, but I felt so guilty and loyal to the church I insisted I go back and route out properly.

92. I then returned to Clearwater and upon my return my roommate Nicole Graham warned me that they were again going to try to get me to re-start the EPF, as there was some post that needed filled immediately. She was also trying to route out and that is the only reason a sea org member would tell me something like this. I was then able to mentally prepare myself for what was to come.

93. Three days after I returned, my mom came to visit the QI. This was her fist visit to the QI in years. I immediately knew what she was up to. Acting very motherly and using her affection, she and the cadet coordinator, Jim Sydjeko, asked me to take a walk. As soon as we were outside the office, they stopped and my mom started in.

94. She told me I had been working on my program and she wanted to know what I had decided. She said there was some post I was needed for and I should return to the EPF. Well, I answered her honestly, telling her I wanted to go to college and become an interior decorator. When she heard this, my mother was absolutely floored. She became visibly irritated and her "motherliness" no longer came through so well.

95. Of course, for the next hour and a half she tried to talk me into staying and rejoining the EPF. She asked me how I was going to help the planet by going top college and a lot of other stuff I just didn't know at the age of 15. However, I had seen my mother do her work on many other people. Often, she had held me up as a shining example of a cadet, even though I was a thoroughly miserable child. I knew what was going to come out of her mouth before she said it. Thus, I was able to maintain my position. I wanted to leave.

96. Now, I was given what is called a "routing out" program. These were steps I had to take to leave the Sea Org. Most of the steps had to be worked with other people and I soon found that, as a matter of course, there was no one able to help me. After weeks of no help and no progress, I grew angry. Additionally, steps were continually being added to my program. Eventually, my mother said I should word clear the entire Student Hat, which is a huge course, and this was added to the program.

97. I became very upset when they added the Student Hat. I had been word clearing for years and all it made me do was think there was something wrong with me. When I became upset they blamed me, saying I was only angry because I still had mis-understood words. At this point, also, I was supposed to still be attending regular school, but now 90% of my studies were Scientology doctrines and policies.

98. During this time I was trying to stay in touch with Astra (my sister) and my dad. I called them every week or two. This was seriously frowned upon and the staff and my mother often scolded me for it. I was made to feel guilty and told I was doing something wrong (i.e. it was an overt to stay in contact with these "outside influences.")

99. After a couple of months, I was so filled with anger that I began arguing frequently with Jim Sydjeko, the cadet coordinator, begging for a word clearer and the other help I needed to do my program. He just yelled at me and said I was out-ethics and selfish, that they had more important things to do than work with me. When you are routing out you are no longer important and no one will help you or treat you well.

100. Sometimes, he would yell at me and advance towards me, backing me against the wall and yelling at me so hard that spit flew from his mouth into my face. I would start sobbing when he did this, and he did it several times.

101. My mother also did not like Jim and was blaming him because he had not "handled" me as a cadet to stay in the Sea Org. In the afternoons, I would see my mom when I went in to Flag to work (I still had to work every day.) She would tell me she could get me word clearing at the FH, but this happened only three or four times. At this rate, I knew it was going to take years for me to route out and I started getting feelings of dread and hopelessness.

102. After three months of trying to route out, I sort of gave up and just started working for my mom full time, not going to school at all. I returned to the QI to sleep at night. One day some cadets arrived at mom's office while I was working, carrying many of my belongings in a cardboard box and my laundry basket. I asked what was going on and they said they didn't know, Jim had just told them to bring me my stuff. Now, I really flipped out because the one place I had always lived was the QI and now I had been removed from there. I had no idea where I was supposed to go.

103. When I met my mom on break I told her what had happened. She said, oh, I thought you wanted to come live with me. This had never been discussed before and it was really upsetting to me. I did not want to live with her because I knew she was very controlling and trying to get me to stay in the Sea Org and this would only aid her. Nonetheless, I moved in with her, as I had no place else to go.

104. In my mom's small bedroom at the Hacienda Gardens, which she shared with an 80-year-old lady, I slept on the floor squeezed between a table and my mom's bed with no mattress, just a pillow and a blanket.

105. Now, I worked all day from 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. At this time, I started sneaking to the Clearwater library in the mornings just to read, as I had been forbidden to read so much for so long. I started reading magazines, newspapers, and books -- whatever I could. My mom was angry with this and told me not to do this but I continued.

106. My mom now got me back into school again at the cadet org but only on Sunday for 10 hours a day. However, all I studied was Scientology and I quit after three weeks. My schedule then became work all day seven days a week, no schooling except for my visits to the library, sleeping on my mom's floor, eating my meals in the Clearwater Building. I was no longer even working on my routing out program. I was very depressed; it was one of the worst periods of my life, because people no longer like me because I wanted to leave, I was not in uniform anymore, my friends talked to me only to convince me to stay, and all the people who had known me through the years shunned me.

107. As Christmas time approached, I started pushing again to finish my leaving staff program so I could be with my dad at Christmas. My mom would not agree or help me so I went to the Chaplain. The Chaplain talked to mom, who convinced him not to help me as I am just out-ethics. So, I spent Christmas with my mother.

108. This Christmas, my mother and my grandmother (also in the Sea Org) bought me lesser gifts and gave them seemingly begrudgingly and my mom only took the morning off to be with me.

109. Soon after Christmas, I began calling my father and sister more frequently; several times a week. I called from public phones, often from the Library, either collect or using my dad's calling card number so my mother wouldn't know. I really started complaining about not going to school and not being allowed to leave. I was becoming more and more angry.

110. In late January during one of these calls, my sister said to me, "How about you just leave? We'll come get you or buy you a ticket." At this point I was sick of feeling ashamed of myself for wanting to leave and certain they would never let me finish my leaving program. Also, I had recently been subject to re-recruitment efforts to re-start the EPF and this frightened me. Some time before, the Commanding Officer of the Commodores Messenger Organization (CMO, a specialized organization comprised mostly of young girls) had become very angry with me when I had refused to rejoin. She had ordered me to go start the EPF at once. I ran crying to my mom for help but she said she could not help and started asking, "Why don't you go on the EPF again?" I had then just gone home and refused to go to work at all for the next week.

111. So this time when Astra said just leave, I felt sudden relief. This is what I wanted to do. So we started planning. We decided I would leave at the end of February 2000. I was afraid to call a cab; I had rarely even rode in a car, so my dad agreed to fly out and rent a car and pick me up near Flag.

112. I started to sneakily pack my stuff in a cardboard box and two backpacks. The night before I was leaving I kissed my grandmother good night, feeling very sad because I wondered if I would ever see her again. Then I went to bed. The next morning was my escape day.

113. I woke up late! Nervously, I grabbed my stuff and for one of the first times in my life caught a ride with a staff member who drove a vehicle (he had a vehicle because he worked for renovations and needed it. Most staff are not allowed cars.) My cardboard box was stashed in a hidden closet in the Coachman building. I had been bringing my stuff in my backpacks every day and secretly filling the box. I was so nervous every time I spoke to anyone, thinking they would know I was going to blow.

114. When I got to work, I made up an excuse to see my mother, who was on study. Normally, it is not permitted to interrupt staff study. I gave her a kiss and said I would see her later. She was a bit annoyed by my visit. I felt so bad because I was leaving her, but on the other hand I didn't want her to know and stop me. She was like my mother and the enemy.

115. Now, I took my two tightly packed backpacks and headed for the Clearwater Library. A sea org member saw me walking and approached me. I freaked out inside, but he just made small talk and I smiled and answered, then walked on. When I got to the library, I saw my dad sitting there in a car. Now, I knew I was really leaving. I was so excited and emotional I wanted to cry but knew we really had to rush to catch our flight out.

116. I talked with him briefly then told him I had to get my cardboard box. My dad waited in the parking lot and I ran back to the coachman building to get the box from the closet. I grabbed the box, but it started falling apart and I couldn't let others see my clothes falling out. I left the box in an alley nearby, ran back to my dad and jumped in the car. We then drove over to the coachman to get the box in the alley, ducking as we passed the known surveillance cameras all over the streets of Clearwater.

117. We got to the alley and I dashed out to grab the box. Dad came to assist. My knees were shaking and I was constantly looking around to see if any Sea Org members were noticing. We managed to get the box and all the contents into the car, jump in and head for the airport.

118. I was in emotional turmoil at this time. When we got on the airplane, I began to really question what I was doing and started to cry. I was afraid I was ruining my life. However, I went through with it.

119. When we got to LA, I called Flag and left a message for my mom, telling her I had arrived in LA safely. Then, I went home with my dad. By the time we got to his apartment, there were messages from mom telling me to call her. I didn't call her even though I was an emotional mess, shaking and crying. Soon, she called back and the first thing she said to me was "Well, that wasn't very smart, was it?" Her attitude and mean spiritedness convinced me that I had done the right thing in leaving.

120. Additional incidents, which were not recounted in the above narrative, include the heavy labor children did at the QI. For example I used a jackhammer to break up concrete block and frequently used a circular saw to cut wood for bunk beds. All the children made their own, wood bunk beds.

121. When I used a jackhammer I was happy to do so as normally we were made to break up concrete with a large pick axe.

122. The QI has two floors and there are iron railings running all around. We children were made to sand the rust from them and paint them and try to make them stable with screws and nails. They were often so loose you could not lean on them and they would be tied to the roof with rope to secure them.

123. Children also painted the doors to the rooms and walls, fix holes in drywall, layed tile, cut scrap carpet and fit the pieces together to make a whole and lay on the floor. They would also use acid to wash bathroom floors that were caked with mineral deposits.

124. These are all samples of the labor done by children in keeping the building in satisfactory condition.

125. Regarding medical treatment while I was in the Sea Org, I once fractured my foot when I was about 13. My bone was fractured from my pinky bone to my ankle and I was in terrible pain. I couldn't walk at all and stayed in bed late, but still had to get up and work. The cadet coordinator checked me and told me I just had a sprain. After about a week it was not better so I went to the MLO. I waited all day and no one helped me. They finally helped me toward the end of the day. One of the MLOs took me to a nearby scientology chiropractor.

126. I was told this chiropractor would take cheap x-rays. She took them, saw the fracture and pointed it out to me and advised me to see a doctor. I was never taken to a doctor. To this day, my foot still hurts and aches when I run.

127. While I was on the EPF, I was working a lot with acid. I had no protective gloves and my skin became very dry and chapped and started peeling off. Something also happened to my feet as they became sore and red, then crusty even on top. They would crack and bleed and the bottoms were so sore I could hardly touch them. I had to continue working until I begged to go to the MLO. By this time, I could barely walk or move my fingers.

128. The MLO, who is not even a medically trained person, said it looked like some sort of fungus and would go away. I was given no treatment and sent immediately back to work. I bought my own lotion at the store and was constantly using it to take away the pain.

129. I suffered this condition up to the time I went with my father to Hawaii. When he saw my hands and feet he immediately got me some medicine and applied it frequently. By the time I returned to the Sea Org it had cleared up.

130. I want to state that the church promises you that all your medical cares will be attended to. This is not true. Medical cares are ignored unless they are extreme. You are considered to be doing something wrong if you are sick or injured.

131. Any care that costs money has to go through a long process of approval that can take months. I know my grandmother paid for some of her friends surgery or medical treatment because they could not get the funds approved through the church system and were in dire need of treatment.

132. I also once cut my arm badly, where I could see white flesh, and this received no treatment other than wrapping. I have a very bad scar on my arm from this injury.

133. Another thing that happened was we children were hauled around in old, broken down school buses. These would often break down and on three occasions I and other children were directed to get out of the bus when it broke down and push it to the side of the road while the driver steered.

134. At times, the cadets received no pay at all because the base was not making enough money. One of the things we had to spend our money on was doing our laundry and buying our own hygiene items. This included laundry detergent, shampoo, tampons, soap and toothpaste. We also were responsible for certain items of clothing like underwear, socks, bras and our own hair brushes etc. This was all to come from our $8.00 to $12.00 per week pay.

135. We had to wash our clothes in the coin-operated machines provided at the QI. This would take up to half the pay I received as a cadet.

136. The other part of my pay I often spent on food because I couldn't stand what we were served at the QI. Our meals were leftovers brought from the Clearwater Bank building. One of our dinner meals was bread with cheese melted on top of it. This was served once a week. When I left in 2000 there were no desserts served ever as the base was not making enough money for these treats.

137. We also did marching drills at the QI and on the EPF. We marched together and learned formations like the number eight. We also had to run and do double and triple time and what we called the "dead run" where we had to run all-out as a group keeping in marching formation, up stairs and all over.

138. Another drill we had to do on the EPF was to run up all ten flights of stairs. In fact, no EPFers were allowed to use the elevators in the Fort Harrison hotel. When we did maid work or any work in the FH (like painting on the tenth floor) we had to run up and down the stairs all day long.

139. On the EPF we would get so hungry that we would take food from the trays left over by the "public" staying in the hotel room. When we were working, if we passed these trays in the hall or near the kitchen we would always steal any left over food. This was a regular occurrence while I was there in 1998 and 1999.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the United States of America and the state of Florida that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in Clearwater, Florida this 24th day of January 2001.

Zoe Woodcraft