Since some of the materials which describe the $cientology cult could be
considered to be copywritten materials, I have censored myself and The
Skeptic Tank by deleting any and all possible text files which describes
the cult's hidden mythologies. I have elected to quote just a bit of the
questionable text according to the "Fair Use" legal findings afforded to
those who report. - Fredric L. Rice, The Skeptic Tank, 09/Sep/95
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From news.interserv.net!news.sprintlink.net!howland.reston.ans.net!agate!news.mindlink.net!vanbc.wimsey.com!fonorola!news!magi01p27 Mon Jul 10 17:03:20 1995
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From: kady@magi.com (LrkrChik)
Subject: Lrkrchik's Poetry Corner
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Date: Sun, 9 Jul 1995 06:34:33 GMT
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First in an occasional series ....
The Walrus and the Carpenter - SP Version (with apologies to Mister Carroll)
The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might;
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright -
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.
The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done -
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun."
The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky;
No birds were flying overhead -
There were no birds to fly.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand;
"If only this were cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand."
"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose", the Walrus said,
"That they could get it Clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.
"O Clams, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach;
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."
The eldest clam, he looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest clam, he winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head -
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster bed.
But four young clams, they hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat -
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.
Four other clams, they followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more -
All hopping through the frothing waves,
And scrambling to the shore.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little clams, they stood
And waited in a row.
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot -
And whether pigs have wings."
"But wait a bit," the clams all cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.
"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar, besides,
Are very good indeed -
Now if you're ready, clams so dear,
We can begin to feed."
"But not on us!" The clams all cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said,
"Do you admire the view?
"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice.
I wish you were not quite so deaf -
I've had to ask you twice!"
"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick.
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"
"I weep for you," the Walrus said
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
"O Clams," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none -
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.
- again, with apologies to Lewis Carroll (although I bet he wouldn't mind a bit)