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From: Kim Baker <KIM@uctlib.uct.ac.za>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: WHY I LEFT FACTNET - 3
Date: Mon, 30 Oct 1995 07:44:42 GMT
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Continued from part 2
I looked at the direction that this conflict is heading. It has
turned into a war over the copyrights, with the intention of
destroying them, and with them, the Church. Now, if one is coming
from the point of view that this is an evil, mind-control
organisation, such measures may seem justified. Since I do not
believe, any more, that the Church uses mind-control, and since I
cannot get out of my mind all of those people who practice
Scientology as their religion, all those people who are being badly
hurt by all this (never mind just the RTC and Miscavige), and since I
really cannot stand the hatred that is being whipped up against
Scientology and Scientologists through all this, and since FACTNETs
only activity now is to fight Scientology on a full-time basis, and
raise money to do this, as well as get Christians up in arms at
Scientology, I have to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do in
my life - I have to stand up, against my friends, Lawrence and
Arnie - and say NO! I don't agree with this! I cannot continue
supporting it, or condoning it in any way. They will see this, and
what I have said, as a betrayal of trust. I have been torn apart by
all this, because I *know* that several people *have* been hurt by
their experiences with Scientology. I say that with compassion and
understanding. I know the hell that Lawrence lives in. But this is
NOT the right way to deal with it. What FACTNET is doing is wrong,
and what I was doing in supporting it was wrong. This is a different
kind of violence we were advocating - attack the copyrights
themselves, take away from them that which they hold sacred. An eye
for an eye makes the world blind, and so, EVEN IF the Church is
making a lot of money from them, EVEN if the Church has been
provacative, THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT.
I found for me personally, that the ONLY way to heal myself, was to
take the power away from the Church, to take away that horrible
feeling of having been a victim, grit my teeth, and really, really
face up to those ugly parts of myself, the parts that made me writhe
in shame and spiritual agony, the parts of me that contributed to my
whole experience with Scientology. And having done THAT, I am at
peace with myself.
What remains then, is how can I just say it's all right to not worry
about those who have been hurt? Surely, Scientology should be
stopped, because some people have been hurt? Never mind all those who
have been helped, what about those who have been hurt? And then
again, what about people being hurt the world over - people who
starve in Africa, people who fall foul of multi-national corporations,
people who are raped, people who experience racism, or anti-Semitism,
or insults based on their gender? What about ALL those people in the
WORLD who have been hurt, who have been damaged by the evil that is
choking this world to death?
All I can say, is that ultimately, it all starts and ends with each
and every one of us, as INDIVIDUALS. What we, personally, each do with
our experiences, how we choose to use and interpret our experiences.
I cannot tell others what to do about their pain. I can tell them
that a good way of dealing with it is to face up to their own part in
it. That is the only way to get re-empowered, to feel in control
again.
I DO feel that a naive 18-year old is no match for a stats-hungry
staff member. Some naive 18-year olds were lucky, in Scientology, to
encounter individuals who cared for them, who didn't push them beyond
what they were ready for. Those are the ones that stayed, that were
helped, that gained benefit. Others, were pushed too hard. That
danger, a naive 18-year old faces ANYWHERE in the world - the WORLD
is not a safe place, and I feel that this is the fault of parents,
and our education systems, in our failure to equip our youngsters to
deal with individuals or companies who would exploit their youth and
naivette for their own purposes.
Scientology HAS helped people. To the degree it helps people, they
will continue to support it, and to the degree that it helps people,
it DESERVES to expand. To the degree that it fails to help people,
it will not expand, or get any support - my evidence is here at the
Local Org, where they do not deliver a very good service -
and so, they stay small. People drift in, and then drift out again. A
very few stay, because at some stage, they were helped. But the
majority move on. And so, if Scientology is not genuinely helping
people, it won't expand. THAT is the safety-valve. The only
justification for attacking the Church the way I and FACTNET have
been is if they are using mind-control to expand, artificially. Based
on my research, my personal knowledge, and a personal re-assessment
of myself, I say they do NOT.
I have put down my weapons against the Church. I am moving on with my
life, and it doesn't bother me that I'm still a Declared SP, as it is
a piece of paper that means nothing to me, now. I have removed the
power from it. But for those here, who have never been in
Scientology, and don't understand my behaviour, especially the part
where I lied, I offer an extract from an alternative school of
academic thought, which examines the phenonmenon of apostates:
From Bryan Wilson, Reader Emeritus in Sociology at Oxford University:
"In recent decades, given the emergence of so many new religious
bodies which make strong demands on the loyalty of their members,
instances of apostacy have become matters of considerable attention
for the mass media. The apostate's story, in which he is usually
presented as a victim, is seen as good news-copy for the media,
particularly if he offers to 'reveal' aspects, perhaps secrets, of
the movement to which he formerly belonged. In consequence, apostates
receive perhaps an unwarrented amount of media attention,
particularly when they are able to present their previous allegiance
in terms of both their own vulnerability and the manipulation,
deception, or coercion excersized by leaders and members of the
movement into which they were recruited.....
The disaffected and the apostate are in particular informants whose
evidence has to be used with circumspection. The apostate is
generally in need of self-justification. He seeks to re-construct
his own past, to excuse his former affiliations, and to blame those
who were formerly closest associates. Not uncommonly, the apostate
learns to rehearse an 'atrocity' story to explain how, by
manipulation, trickery, coercion or deceit, he was induced to join,
or to remain within and organisation that he now forswears and
condemns."
(From: Wilson, Bryan - The Social Dimensions of Sectarianism, Oxford,
Clarendon Press, 1990).
I do not speak for any other critic or ex-Scientologist here. I only
speak for myself, and I found that my behaviour fitted this pattern.
And facing that, has freed me.
To all of those who are fighting the Church on the basis that they
are an evil, mind-control organisation, who are going for the kill to
spread around their Upper Levels, who are participating in any way in
this spontaneous revolution, I urge you to re-assess what you are
doing. You are hurting more people than you realise, because THEY
consider it their religion. The raids WERE provoked by posting the
Upper Levels. They could not have occured otherwise. Even if you
don't like the Church, or Miscavige, or their methods of dealing with
critics, this is NOT the way to do it. Attacking that which many,
many people hold sacred IS violence - a spiritual violence. Remember,
you cannot copyright an IDEA, only a documented form of it - so the
PARADIGM is copyrighted, the ideas are not. Stop it now, I beg you
from the bottom of my heart. Please re-consider what it is that we
are all doing.
Please copy any flames, questions, etc to my e-mail account, my
newsfeed is three days behind - and indicate if you want a public or
private reply.
Kim Baker
Cape Town, South Africa
ÿÿ