Subject: My Experience Leaving Scientology
From: roger gonnet <secticide@worldnet.fr>
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999 06:46:27 +0200

sashaz@my-dejanews.com wrote:

Thanks for your post! excellent... > > I remember asking a few people. I always got a similar basic response: “He
> knew what he was doing, and it was great to be around him.”

Reminds me the systematical answer of some scienos while Paris OPrg was having the biggest problems because Hubbard was indicted (and has been sentenced) for fraud and extortion: then, the Org was really terrible, ugly, badly washed, badly decorated, etc. What were they saying, though? That when they were approaching the org, they were "feeling all this theta" flowing from the org. Happily, I was'nt agreeing: that org was one of the worse filthy houses of the area; just an image : they had an arson (or a fire, I dunno!) and the peices of beds and so on were exposed for more than two months just before the org, in the street, probably because they had'nt the 40 $ to get a truck to trash the filth.

> Well days past, and I constantly thought of how GREAT this man was, and I
> finally had to start asking, “how do I know he’s this great?” I had this
> hypothetical idea come up to test his greatness. It went something like this:
>
> Let’s suppose LRH were still alive. Now, let’s suppose some incredibly evil
> terrorist invaded LRH’s home, ransacked his house, got through all the lines,
> and put a gun to his head. The terrorist says: “You’ve got two choices, you
> can let me kill you, or you can find 5 people to die for you -- which do you
> choose?”

Or simply get his own wife jailed for his own crimes, like the f* bastard did.

> At first it seemed simple. If this man is SO great, he’d take his own life.
> He is a greater being than any other on this planet, and he could take this
> death better than anyone else. From outside his body, he could be more
> effective.

Yes!! Sure, now he "is" more effective than ever...

> When I got back to the States, I decided to stay with my God-Mother, June
> Cline. June used to work with LRH, and she had left Scientology by this time.
> It was perfect. One morning we went out for breakfast. These questions of
> LRH were bothering me, so I asked: “What was Ron like?”
>
> “Oh, you don’t want to ask me.”
>
> “No, I do. I want to know what this man is like.”
>
> “If you want to get your answer, you should ask someone in the church.”
>
> Actually, I don’t remember the conversation, but what I do remember, is that
> it took a long time to get her to answer my question. Finally, she said, “I
> thought he was a jerk. He knew what he wanted, and he did what ever it took
> to get it, at any expense. He had no care for the people, he just wanted to
> get what he wanted. I didn’t like him very much.”

Not only had he no care at all, but he disdained and disliked them completely: took them for what they were for him: people to be delusioned, lied to, frauded, extorted, killed if needed. My guesss is that he thought the worse of himself: he described himself so well under the 1.1 traits and characters in Science of Survival: that was him! > So began my journey out of the church.

!!!

> Later that year, I went to a Scientology event. New Year’s or something, and
> for the first time I noticed that I was already an outsider. I wasn’t so
> crazy about LRH, and everybody else thought he was the greatest thing that
> ever happened. It was hard for me to enjoy the process.
>
> I told my Dad, when I next saw him at some family reunion in Ukiah. He
> supported my questioning, but I don’t think he was so comfortable with the
> amount of questioning I was doing.
>
> By Scientology terms, I began to think of myself in the condition of “Doubt.”
> For conditions, that’s pretty low, and nobody really likes to be there. I
> think the toughtest part of being in this condition, was telling my
> Scientology friends, my only friends. By saying I’m in doubt with
> Scientology, is like saying, I’m in doubt with having you as a friend. My
> friends didn’t take it so well. One of my best friends, Michael Coleman,
> wrote me a letter of disconnection, as I was no longer a safe person to talk
> to. My father told me that he didn’t know if he and I should carry the
> father/son relationship we had. He chose the Church, at this time, over me.
> My friend Chris Currier called me up, and wanted me to say where I stood with
> Scientology. He said he wanted to hear it from the “horse’s mouth.”
> Basically, I told him that I was on my way out of the church. He said, that
> he was disappointed to hear it, and said he was disconnecting from me. With
> some slight rage inside me, I told him that Scientology would never “Clear
> the planet.” When he asked why, I said “because there would always be
> someone like me around.” He called me an asshole, and that was the last we
> spoke.

Once, I wrote a doubt condition letter to Hubbard, asking him some questions... "he never received or answered "... despite the "SO ED 1" line, who promised a reply to every letter! Another time, I wrote him to indicate errors in his writings: he did never received that one neither...

roger

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