Bill Kochman
BK> I offered you the FACTS according to God's Word which you have
BK> rejected. Since you don't want the True Facts, you obviously
BK> want me to tickle your ears with lies. Sorry dude, try wasting
BK> someone else's time, and not mine! I'm not a snake catcher!

Curtis Johnson
cj> "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name
cj> they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they
cj> will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly
cj> poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands
cj> on sick people, and they will get well." (Mark 16:17-18)
cj> Should I pour?

Jason Desjardins
jd> Hmm. *This* should get interesting... [grin].

Fredric Rice
A couple of the more friendly heathens within these non-existant walls have indicated a desire to prepare for door-to-door deity salesmen by having a vial of iodine or even Clorox bleach handy (the one with the nifty new enzymes in it.)


Heathen: Yes, may I be of service?

Cultist: We're here selling hatred and ignorance justifying it with our deity constructs and would like to know if you have read the word of our gods today?

Heathen: Why sure! In fact I was just doing so! I love thumbing through the bible and learning how to live right so that I don't rape, murder, burn, and pillage, you know.

Cultists: <beaming> That's just keen and super! What's your favorate passage?

Heathen: That would be Mark 16, 17 through 18.

Cultist: Er, I don't think we're allowed to read that one. It is forbidden, you know. (Looks around to see if anyone's watching.) <whispers> What does it say?

Heathen: Here... Let me show you. <reads the passage>

Cultist: Holy mother of god! I didn't know that was in there!

Heathen: Well, you know we must follow the will of the gods so here! Here's a cup of iodine. Drink up... The guest is always served first in our house. Be my guest.

Cultist: <sputter> <clank> <whirl> But but but! <klank> <grind> But that's poison! (Fundy starts to smoke.) But I can't disobey the will of the gods!

Heathen: Here you go. Bottom's up. There's a good fundy.

Cultist: <gulp> <sip> <gulp> Argh! Save me, Jesus! Save me!

Jesus: Now why the fuck would I want to save an idiot stupid enough to drink poison?

Cultist: <gack!> Argh! <thud>

Heathen: Some of your father's creations are so stupid.

Jesus: Man, don't I know it! <pause> Chili dogs with cheese?

Heathen: Let's go!


The views and opinions stated within this web page are those of the author or authors which wrote them and may not reflect the views and opinions of the ISP or account user which hosts the web page.

Return to The Skeptic Tank's main Index page.

E-Mail Fredric L. Rice / The Skeptic Tank