Thu 21 Jan 99 14:05

DAVID WORRELL
DW> Just out of curiousity, how many miles/kilometers are there in
DW> a parsec? How many astronomical units? How many lightyears?

Steve Quarrella
SQ> Hey, a parsec is a unit of time! I know because Han Solo used it that
SQ> way.

Dan Ceppa
Of course! Heavy Years have 366 days in them.

The extra day causes the normally inactive year to radiate dangerous particals. These particles are known as 'presidential' quarks. The primary signs of radiation sickness always seems to to occur in New Hampshire and then spreads rabidly across the country.

Pre-signs are often found by close examination of the year just prior to the heavy year. Nebulous rings are found and they invariably are attracted to phenomena similar to a black hole. Those 'black holes' are commonly referred to as 'hats'.

It's a long process to eradicate the posturing of those quarks. Fortunately, they are self-annihilating, with the last ones to do so by the end of the year. The final quark can then be safely handled by placing it in a house that was built on Pennyslvania Avenue.

Should that quark get free, the scientists do their best to put a spin on it to get it safely back into that building. With dilligence, such a quark can be maintained in the White Laboratory for 8 years. One of these nearly made it for 12 years. Lately, a four year decay seems to be the norm.

Over the years, these quarks have been given many names. Though collectively known as presidential quarks, but each has its own particular spin that must be held in check. The latest of these requires a removal of its extreme bottom spin (more of an oscillation) that is in opposition to its primary spin, know as 'charm'. In the 70's, a very unique version was termed 'clumsy quark'. It was the only fully self-descrtructive p. quark yet found.

To date, there have been no presidential quarks that have color other than white, though they are theorized along with the elusive female quark. Three possible events of the later are somewhat evidenced. They have been given the names, 'Eleanor', 'Nancy' and 'Hillary'. 'Hillary' is suspected to be a variation of 'top quark'.