(14)    Fri 23 Jun 95 15:30
By: Robin Murray-o'hair
To: All
Re: Psychic Hotline on TV
St:
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SCHMOOZING WITH PSYCHIC FRIENDS

By Conrad F. Goeringer

     If "Mass For the Shut-In" isn't your pace, perhaps you
should try the "Psychic Friends Network," the 900 number
infomercial rated #1 in the country by those in the know.
Try some late-night channel surfing (especially after 12)
and you'll probably come across self-proclaimed psychic
Linda Georgian schmoozing it up with 60s-70s pop star
Dionne Warwick. This 30-minute pitch airs 300 times a week
across the nation's cable networks, outperforming
heavyweights like Sy Sperling's Hair Club for Men or those
never-sharpen knives which slice oranges and cut through
bricks.

     The star of the show is Linda Georgian who looks like
she stepped off the set of "Dallas," and whose distinctive
voice was described by Working Woman magazine as "so nasal
it could peel paint." Linda is selling psychic friendship
at $3.99 a minute for an average ten-minute session (with
your very own "personal psychic"). She also claims to read
"auras," which mystics describe as some otherwise invisible
band of light surrounding the body, and psychologists link
to
neurological disorders and schizophrenia. She insists
that she has a cadre of 66 guardian angels working overtime
to keep her focused on everything from her diet to her
burgeoning psychic business. The lady describes herself as
a "psychic Oprah" and has authored such weighty tomes as
"Your Guardian Angels" and the soon-to-be released
"Communicating With The Dead: Reaching Friends And Loved
Ones Who Have Passed On to Another Dimension of Life."
(Guess they don't need the 900 number). A third book is
planned for 1996, titled "Creating Your Own Future."
"Psychic Friends Network" and similar television fare like
"Kenny Kingston's Psychic Hotline" seem to meet a need not
filled by sleazoid, now mainstream, daytime talk shows a la
Richard Bey, Rickie Lake and even the mellowing Oprah
Winfrey.

     When not emersing themselves in the fictional problems
of soap-opera stars, or witnessing the excesses of Women
Who Haven't Told Hubby That They're Lesbians, the 900
psychic customers have somebody to talk to even if it isn't
free or even cheap. There's reassurance about the future,
about that "special someone" who's going to step into their
lives and "make it all right," even about those angels who
god put there to catch us when we slip on the existential
banana peels of life.

     Linda's word is spreading, too. There are more and
more "Psychic Friends" apparently, who require the
energies of 1,500 self-proclaimed psychic visionaries who
answer the continual flood of calls. Linda still does
readings herself, though, and charges less than $3.99 per
minute it actually works out to $75 for a 30-minute
session. Hey, that's cheaper than talking to Johnny Cockran
these days.

     And news reports insist that Linda Georgian is
negotiating with Four Points Entertainment to tape a talk
show pilot. Four Points isn't saying anything about this
one way or another they're too busy with other productions like
the "American Gladiators" program where people in
spandex and helmets wallop each other with foam-covered
paddles in an athletic contest that looks like it came out of a
Fellini movie. Linda Georgian also says that she'd
like to have Billy Graham on her show (he's obviously not
right for American Gladiators.)

     But if there's anything to the "Psychic Friends
Network," why do these wonderful, New Age gurus have to
wait for YOUR call? Why don't they just call you instead,
right before you pick up the phone? Maybe it's because of
the disclaimer that's flashed at the end of every Psychic
Friends Network infomercial, when Linda and Dionne are done with
the schmoozing the one that says "For Adults and
Entertainment Only."

                          --30--


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