(960)   Wed 23 Aug 95 12:32
By: Quentin Fai
To: All
Re: Are you a right wing wacko?
St:
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@EID:f316 1f176400
@PID: SX4.02B03P CA-12680
@MSGID: 1:358/1 b0cd1230
@TID: GE 1.11+
I found this on the Funny echo a couple days ago, and I thought y'all might
enjoy it.
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You're a right-wing, paranoid wacko, if ...

 *  You play soldier at least once a month with other boys who
are over 30 and over-weight 30+ pounds.
 *  You know who Helen Chenoweth is and you would vote for her.
 *  You believe that the ATF has a secret file about you.
 *  You believe that George Bush was a liberal.
 *  You believe Newt Gingrich has a pleasant enough personality,
but that he is too accommodating.
 *  You believe the Federal Government is using black "stealth"
helicopters to watchdog freedom loving citizens.
 *  You believe in "county supremacy."
 *  You believe the Russian Red Army at the invitation of the UN
now has armed forces stationed in the United States, i.e.,
Louisiana, Alaska, South Dakota, upper New York state.
 *  You think that the only thing wrong with libertarians is that
they want too much government.
 *  You believe home-schooling is superior to public schools.
 *  Your cellar is well stocked with arms, ammunition, and a 12-
month supply of foodstuff.
 *  You believe we would solve most of our health care problems
if people would use chiropractors, herbalists, and faith-healers.
 *  You believe there is going to be race war in the United
States within the next 20 years.
 *  You believe the only reason we can't confirm the existence of
UFOs is because of the government conspiracy.
 *  Your idea of religion is sending money to a television
minister.
 *  You favorite sports are wrestling & rodeo.
 *  You have demanded that a local store stop selling Playboy and
Penthouse. You get your triple X pornography via UPS.
 *  You think environmentists are spoilt rich people who have
nothing better to do than destroy the jobs of hardworking folk.
 *  You believe Randy Weaver is a political prisoner.
 *  You think it is time for the John Birch Society to openly
take over the Republican Party.
 *  If there was a book of the teachings of David Koresh, you
would buy it.
 *  Your kids attend a U.S. Militia Association summer camp.
 *  You smile when you hear a report that someone has attempted
to assassinate the President.
 *  You believe government workers, except members of the
military, are lazy leeches.
 *  You would vote for Oliver North.
 *  You believe the Klan and the skinheads have some good idea,
but you hate their fashions.
 *  You believe Jesse Helms is a statesman of the first order.
 *  You believe law enforcement should be privatized, e.g., use
bounty hunters instead of detectives.
 *  You have donated money to build a Victim's Shrine at Waco.
 *  You believe the UN is creating a one world government.
 *  You believe General Eisenhower was a conscious agent of the
Communist conspiracy and that he had General Patton murdered.
 *  You think the Republican Party is okay as long as the rich
people fund it, and the Westerners and Southerners run it.
 *  You are considering moving to another English-speaking,
nearly all-white country.
 *  You believe Mexico is plotting to take over the American West
through the systematic use of insurgents and by forming alliance
with Indian tribes.
 *  You believe the National Park Service is a bloated
bureaucracy that likes animals more than people.
 *  You believe that Vietnam still holds at least 500 American
servicemen prisoners.
 *  You believe it is dangerous to let anyone in Washington
control water rights (remember what they did to the Potomac).
 *  You believe the 700 Club TV program is the most accurate
news source on television.

... 1944 Germany: "Sieg Heil!"  1994 America: "Dittos, Rush!"
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